Danny: 0:00

You ever just open your phone and immediately regret it, like one second you're checking the weather and the next you're in this full-blown existential crisis because apparently the world is ending again. Or maybe you go on LinkedIn for one second just to see what's happening and now you're emotionally invested in a fight between two strangers over whether bad managers create bad employees or bad employees create bad managers. It's ridiculous, right? But for some reason you just can't look away. That's not an accident. That's not even just social media being a mess. That's your brain. Your brain loves chaos, it's obsessed with it, and the people running these platforms they know it, they're counting on it. In fact, they're taking it to the bank. Welcome to Mental Health Potluck, where everyone brings something to the table. I'm Danny Clark, licensed clinical social worker and family therapist, and this podcast is all about serving up bite-sized mental health insights, practical wellness tips and real conversations that nourish the mind and soul. So today we're diving into why our minds get hijacked by outrage, how social media profits from keeping us emotionally invested in nonsense and, most importantly, how to break the cycle before we all lose our collective minds. All right, so Instagram had a bit of a whoops didn't mean to traumatize you kind of moment. The other day, if you missed it, meta accidentally cranked up the trauma dial on the algorithm and suddenly people were logging in to find their feeds filled with absolute horror. I mean, imagine going to check your DMs and instead you're greeted with war footage and crime scene photos Not exactly the lighthearted cat memes and travel pics you were signing up for. People lost it, rightly so. There were tweets, there were panic posts and, of course, there was news pieces within hours about the dangers of social media. Meta, in their usually deeply sincere corporate way, issued an apology and went right back to figuring out new ways to keep us addicted to their platforms. But here's the weird part Even though everyone was horrified by what they were seeing, they just kept looking. Screenshots were taken, posts were shared, people stayed glued to their phones talking about how awful it was and that right.

Danny: 2:12

There is what is important to recognize, because the problem isn't just that social media is messy, it's that our brains are messy. They love negativity, they cling to bad news, bad opinions, bad takes, and if that sounds like a design flaw, well, yeah, it kind of is. So here's something fun to think about your brain is a little bit of a drama queen. Not in the way that it makes you send an emotionally charged text. You immediately regret though let's be honest, it does that too. But in the way it reacts to bad news, it loves bad news.

Danny: 2:46

This isn't just some quirk of human nature, it's biological Way. Way back before we had Twitter fights and 24-hour news cycles, our ancestors had a pretty straightforward job Don't die. And the best way to not die Pay very close attention to anything that might be a threat. That rustling in the bushes Could be the wind, could be a tiger. Better, assume a tiger. That weird looking berry Maybe it's fine, but maybe it'll kill me instantly if I eat it. So let's just not find out.

Danny: 3:14

So we fast forward a few thousand years and we're still doing the same thing, except now the tigers and poison berries have been replaced with headlines like is your phone giving you brain cancer? And everything you love is ruined. And here's why, and just like before, our brains lock in because they think they're helping, they think they're protecting us. This is what psychologists call negativity bias the idea that our brains naturally prioritize negative information over positive information, not because we're all secretly masochists, but because bad things have historically been more useful to remember. A positive experience is nice, but a negative one could mean the difference between survival and disaster. And even though most of us aren't dodging predators anymore, our brains haven't updated the software.

Danny: 3:59

So when you scroll past a headline about something good happening in the world, your brain's like meh. But when you see one about a horrific disaster unfolding somewhere, suddenly your whole system is on high alert. You read it, you watch the videos, you click through another article. You need to know more, and this isn't just some theory. Researchers have actually measured this effect. One study found that when people were shown both positive and negative images, their brain lit up way more in response to the negative ones. And another study showed that bad news spreads significantly faster than good news, which is why, if you've ever tried to share a wholesome story online, it gets like three likes. But the second you post something mildly controversial. Suddenly you have an audience.

Danny: 4:39

And this is where things start to get dangerous, because negativity bias it doesn't just make you pay attention to bad news, it changes how you see the world. If everything your brain prioritizes is negative, then eventually the world starts to feel like a deeply terrible place, even if, objectively, things aren't as bad as they seem. Which brings us to the big question If we know our brains are wired to fixate on the worst thing, how do we stop them from ruining our peace of mind? Because, let's be honest, we can't exactly turn this feature off, but maybe, just maybe, we can learn how to work around it. And spoiler alert the people running your favorite apps. They definitely don't want you to figure that out. So if negativity bias is basically our brain's version of a bad software update, then social media platforms are like hackers who figured out how to exploit that vulnerability for profit.

Danny: 5:32

Some call it the attention economy, I call it the outrage economy. You ever notice how your feed is never just peaceful updates about your friend's vacations or a wholesome story about someone finding their lost dog. No, instead, it's like a constant buffet of rage, perfectly curated to keep you hooked, engaged and slightly furious at all times. And that's not an accident, that's a business model. Social media companies make money off of engagement and they know that nothing gets people to engage faster than something that pisses them off, because when you're mad you don't just see a post and move on. Oh no, you quote it, dive into the comments to argue with a stranger. You send it to a friend just so you can both be mad about it together. And every single one of those actions, that's data, that's clicks, that's ad revenue.

Danny: 6:24

Researchers have found that posts designed to trigger outrage spread faster and get more engagement than anything else. And social media companies? They know that and they design for it. Take Facebook, for example. In 2021, a leaked internal document revealed that Facebook's algorithm was actively promoting anger-inducing content, because they found that it kept people on the platform longer. More time on Facebook meant more ads, more revenue and more success for them. And sure did it also mean that people became more divided, more anxious and more convinced that society was collapsing? Yeah, but you know, engagement was up, so it was worth it.

Danny: 7:03

They don't just feed you negativity, they feed you personalized negativity. These platforms collect so much data on you that they know exactly what kind of content will trigger you specifically. If you get the most engagement when you're arguing about politics, boom, your feed is now a 24-7 political battlefield. If you're more into debating pop culture, congrats. You now have front row seats to the most ridiculous celebrity drama imaginable. And it's not just social media.

Danny: 7:31

News outlets play this game too, because let's be real Everything is fine. No need to worry. It's not the headline that gets clicks. But are we on the brink of economic collapse? Experts weigh in. Now that gets traffic. Now that gets traffic.

Danny: 7:48

This is why it feels like the world is getting more chaotic, more divided and more exhausting, even when, objectively, some things are actually improving. It's not that everything is worse. It's that we are being fed a version of reality that is designed to keep us emotionally on edge. And the worst part, it works. It works because of our own biology, because our brains see the negativity, the conflict and the outrage and go this is important. We must focus on this. Meanwhile, the algorithms are just sitting back saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, you must, you must worry about this. And also, here's an ad for something you don't need.

Danny: 8:24

But here's the big question If we know this is happening, what do we do about it? Because we can't exactly just throw our phones into the ocean and live in the woods. I mean, you can, but you know, good luck paying that bill. No, the real solution is about awareness, control and strategy, and there's a few ways we can think about this. So at this point, we know two things that negativity bias makes our brain obsessed with bad news and the other is that social media companies are basically like running a casino, where their currency is our collective outrage. But here's the real kicker it's not just wasting our time, it's actually messing with our mental health. Like, when was the last time you spent two hours doom scrolling and then thought, wow, I feel great, so refreshed, what a productive use of my time. Yeah, that doesn't happen. Instead, it's more like oh cool, I just lost my entire evening to a heated argument about whether or not cereal is soup and now I'm anxious, exhausted and questioning my entire faith in humanity.

Danny: 9:21

This constant exposure to outrage, conflict and worst case scenario headlines. It doesn't just affect what we pay attention to. It changes how we feel. It changes how we think. So let's take anxiety spirals, for example.

Danny: 9:37

There's actual research on this. Studies show that consuming high amounts of negative news can lead to increased stress, anxiety and even symptoms of depression. And honestly, it makes sense. Your brain wasn't designed to absorb this much information this quickly with this level of emotional intensity. When you expose yourself to a lot of negative content, it actually changes your baseline stress levels. That means you're not just stressed while you're reading a depressing article about the state of the world. You're carrying that stress with you all the time. Your brain starts to assume that, because everything feels bad, everything is bad and, just like that, your perception of reality starts to shift. This is why so many people feel like the world is worse than it's ever been, even though, by many measures, poverty rates, global health literacy, things like that are actually better than ever before. But your brain doesn't work on statistics. It works on impressions, and if everything you consume tells you that society is falling apart, that's the reality you're going to believe. And the irony Most of us aren't even choosing to feel this way.

Danny: 10:38

We're just absorbing it, because it's where we're being fed over and over and over again by systems that profit off of our stress. Being constantly outraged or stressed doesn't just make us feel bad. It's also weirdly addictive, because every time we engage with something that spikes our emotion, our brain releases dopamine Not a fun dopamine hit, like you get from a good meal or a workout, but just enough of a jolt to keep you hooked. That's why people keep checking their feeds, even when they know it's bad for them. It's why, even after a full day of feeling completely drained by the news, we still find ourselves scrolling in bed, feeding our brains just one more dose of existential dread. So then what happens is we have this emotional crash, or I like to call it the outrage hangover, because after all that engagement, that time spent being stressed, mad and overwhelmed, we don't feel more informed, we don't feel more in control, we just feel tired and the worst part, we'll probably do it again tomorrow.

Danny: 11:38

But here's the thing we don't have to. There are ways to break this cycle, ways to step back, recalibrate and actually take control over what we let enter into our mind. So we've established that our brains are basically chaos-loving goblins who can't resist negativity. We also know that tech companies have figured this out and have created an entire industry around it. But here's the part they don't want you to know. You can opt out, not entirely, because, let's be real, unless you're planning on moving to a remote cabin with no Wi-Fi, you're still going to exist in the modern world. But you can start to make some strategic moves to stop handing over your attention like it's free candy at a parade. So here are five ways you can take control.

Danny: 12:24

So the first thing is to realize you're in the outrage loop. The best way to break any bad habit is recognizing when it's happening. So the next time you feel that rage-fueled impulse to engage with a negative conversation or reshare a post about something that's really pissing you off, pause for a second and ask yourself am I about to engage in something that will actually improve my life, or is this conversation going to be productive, or am I just feeding an algorithm? If the answer to any of these is no, congratulations. You just spotted the trap, and once you start seeing the trap, it gets a lot harder to fall into it.

Danny: 12:59

The second step you can do to take care of yourself is to think about the three-day rule for outrage. It's a real game changer. If someone's triggering an emotional reaction, give it three days before engaging. Just three days why? Because outrage has a short shelf life. Something that feels like the most important thing in the world today is probably going to be completely forgotten by next week. If you don't believe me, think about the last huge controversy you were invested in, the one where you were really mad, maybe even posting about it. Now ask yourself do you even remember what it was, or did it just fade away Exactly? So if something makes you want to drop everything and engage in the discourse. Tell yourself if I still care about this in three days I can engage Nine times out of ten. You won't.

Danny: 13:46

So the third step is to curate your information diet. You see, the same way, you wouldn't eat gas station sushi every day. Well, at least, I'd hope not. You shouldn't let your mental diet be made up of non-stop stress-inducing content. You get to control what you consume, and no, that doesn't mean ignoring reality. It means choosing sources that don't exploit your emotions for clicks. Engaging in content that's educational rather than enrages is a good way of taking care of yourself. You can also mute, block and unfollow liberally. It's your feed. You don't owe anyone access to your brain.

Danny: 14:23

So here's the fourth step, and it's a big one. So you remember how our brains are wired to prioritize negative information. Well, it turns out you can hack that system. One of the best ways to do this is by using the three to1 rule. So for every negative thing you read, counter it with three positive things. If you see a terrible headline, follow it up with a story about something going right in the world. If you catch yourself ruminating on bad interactions, force yourself to think of three good ones. It feels small, but this is literally brain training. Over time, it helps balance out the constant flood of negativity, so your brain stops treating every bad thing like the apocalypse.

Danny: 15:01

So the fifth step is the digital detox, but making it realistic. I know, I know everyone says, just get off your phone, but let's be honest, no one's really going to be doing that. What you can do, though, is set actual limits on how much chaos you consume. You can designate no scroll, like the first 30 minutes after waking up and before bed. You can turn off notifications for apps that are basically just yelling at you all day. You can even try a 24-hour doom-scroll detox and see if the anxiety magically decreases, and guess what? It probably will.

Danny: 15:34

At the end of the day, the goal isn't to disconnect entirely. It's to reclaim your attention and stop handing it over to systems that profit off making you miserable. And here's the best part when you start making these shifts, you don't just feel less stressed, you start seeing the world differently, a little less chaotically and more in perspective, and when that happens, you'll realize something you were never actually obligated to be this angry all the time. You just got tricked into thinking you were. So there you have it Five ways to take back what belongs to you. Your attention is valuable, not just to you, but to entire industries, and if you're not intentional about where you place it, someone else will decide for you.

Danny: 16:19

The goal isn't to disconnect from the world completely. It's to engage with it on your terms, because right now, most of us are not engaging on our terms. We're letting algorithms and outrage cycles dictate what we care about, what we stress over and even how we feel on a daily basis, and that that's exhausting. The world isn't going to get less chaotic, but you can get better at navigating it, and when you do, you'll realize that so much of what felt overwhelming urgent and inescapable it was never actually yours to carry in the first place. Well, thanks for listening to Mental Health Potluck. I'm Danny Clark.

Danny: 17:11

And remember your attention is your most valuable resource. Spend it on what builds you up, not on what tears you down. I got nothing, but I'm something.